untitled

2011-07-09T23:00:00.001+08:00

lmao previous post was fucking corny.
haha. anyw nowadays i shouldnt and i wont bother much! :D
thats what i should do. no one will care.

2011-06-11T21:16:00.003+08:00

Hi, here to talk crap again. real shit.
i dont know what to feel now, life dont have its motive.
i wonder how much do i mean to you actually.
on a second thought, i think i dont even mean anything to you :/
if only. if only.. although i know things will never be the same. and i would definitely be another guy down the street. can i even hope? i dont even know what to do. im lost. can i change back time, can i be a guy in love again?

2011-04-23T22:43:00.005+08:00

all the same. it isnt only until now, that i know im just another guy.
why cant i just stop and let my feelings die off.
im just putting myself through all these shit again.
and i cant change anyth.
stupid motherfucking idiot. gotta learn to stop hoping high, and just treat her as another girl...
afterall im just another guy whom she'll prolly forget in time to come.
thats life..

2011-04-20T18:34:00.003+08:00

feeling fucking fucked up now.
shouldnt have paid too much attention.
should have suppress my feeling before even..
my heart always seems like its sinking. idkwhy.
but fuck. nothing big actually happen yet i can be fucking depress?
what kind of logic is that seriously. i hate this thing called emotion.
its getting random at times. maybe im feeling this way, just because i got my hopes high.
this is just a result that i'll expect to see as long as i continue w/ what im doing.
im just a friend, im a nobody.
from the start it had been clear. im just a fucking friend.
shouldnt hope for anychances at all..
Should learn not to hope for texts or even chats. im just a loser.
and nothing can ever change that. IM FUCKING USELESS AND CHILDISH.
why cant i be fucking mature and have a sensible mindset and heart.

TOTHELOOOO

2011-04-14T19:47:00.003+08:00

Heyyyyyyyyyy.
Apparently jaren got active on blog alr, lol.
and needed some help w layout and stuff, i came online/login to check some stuffz.
since im here like login, i guess imma post some stuff up too.
But yeah, got not much of an idea to chat or spam here.
So probably i'll just write some update for nowwwwwwwww.
Art : tough, but like im still slacking at colourscheme, going nowhere.
Eng : gotta check some goodphrase and compo out, but then im just tooo lazyyyyy.
Chi : getting from bad to worst. im fucking disappointed w myself, but what to do, if i dont work hard its obvious i'll get lousy result.. so yeah..
Maths : yay, today's math test seems like a breeze except for one question which consist of some weird answer and stuff. 0.05 cents ftw~

pretty much summarised, dont wanna talk about any other stuff really~
cause well, life will always be unfair and dumb.
so whats the point of sulking everyday hahaha..

2011-01-01T04:06:00.003+08:00

2011. time just pass that quickly isnt it?
although its a new year, but it dont seems to affect me in a big way anyway.
life still goes on, regarding even if you're depress or fucked up or whatever you feel.
welllllll, i still think from time to time. hah.
hope that im able to give up totally, but it seems that i cant.
afterall its been so long, im still being an idiot thinking of chances hopes..
need to get on w/ life, concentrate on studies, and stop looking or even hoping anym.
sometimes i just hope things will go back to how it was. how it was..
nah i ought to stop.. guess im being tooooo sentimental in the morning ^^
just need to sleep soon, after uploading some vids and i should be prolly fine>?

2010-11-29T11:23:00.000+08:00

Live your birthday happily!
:D

2010-11-08T23:17:00.004+08:00

the words i posted impulsively, must have upset you.
its all my fault getting all dumb and moodswing.
im not the perfect guy, but the guy who said too much "sorry"s
guess i pretty much been a bigtime jerk.
and really, you're just a girl out of my league.
with my looks, how can i even hope to get to you.
but im just happy, that we once.. well its all in the memories ^^

to let go of this bond fades away, is something i'll have a hard time doing.
afterall, memories and thoughts of you have filled up my mind constantly.
and although i hate to let you go, but i have to, dont i?
“一个人害怕的事，往往是他该做的事”
if i cant keep you, i just have to let you go.
it'll do you good i guess, to find a better guy perhaps.
and not a loser like how i am. hopeless..
a guy that just cant get things right, always ruining stuff.
hope this issue, wont linger around you anym.
and you'll forget.. :D

you're the greatest gift, god had ever given me.
thanks for being part of my life.
sorry.

2010-11-07T23:33:00.003+08:00

i just cant get over it, can i..?

2010-11-07T03:21:00.003+08:00

有些东西：无论感情或人生上的问题，用了无数的字，也无发表达出来的。

2010-11-03T20:42:00.006+08:00

you know, sometimes i wish you would read this.
and maybe, someday when i get lucky, you'll come back.
and maybe.. we could be like the past.

but that wont happen, as long reality's there.
so i'll just try and keep myself away from reality,
i know it wont help. but whatever..

although i act like i dont care.
i always take a little peek at you during lessons, just to see how you're doing.
and you're doing fine. happy. : D
and im happy for you.
sometimes when i go out, i tend to go to the places you'll usually be at.
hoping to catch a glimpse of you. i've been doing this for quite awhile..
guess i cant really let go that easily.

i just cant put how much i miss you into words. damn, im writing mushy stuff.
k weird.
haha.

i should move on, and not touch on those memories right.
like you hope how we could move on..
i'll try to move on. sorry for everything alright.
sorry for not being the best semiboyfriend you could ever had.
sorry for letting this relationship go so easily.
sorry for being a total idiot who knows nothing about how you feel.

if only there is another chance for us to go back, i'll give whatever i have for it.
you're the prettiest girl i've ever know.
thanks for the memories. thanks for everything..

2010-10-30T23:25:00.002+08:00

i cant stop the aches.

2010-10-23T20:57:00.009+08:00

afterall this while, im slowly letting go. :D
soon i'll feel less and be able to 'live', haha.
though sometimes, just out of nowhere, things that i do frequently reminds me of the past. But what to do ^^

anyw guess im not experiencing the worst now.
drool's also. friendship issues.
i cant figure out why things turn out to be so intense.
a friendship's broken into two, just what happened. fragile.
if i didnt ask them out, would i even know the situation that's already there.
its kinda surprising to hear about things i never knew and expected.
for things to turn up like this in their friendship, really saddens me.

but well, aint life full of surprises.
mean ones, nice ones. some to bring your morale real high, some brings you down.
just hope they'll get well soon, despites bad relationship and misunderstandings.

i think i've learnt much, throughout this year, growing up.^^
seeing things happen, knowing nothing lasts. only the memories. :)
haha, should at least be thankful that the past of memories i had, happened before.
no way, im not getting nostalgic ^^
i just cant afford to.

t.s.k. haha. guess im done writing this shit. ^^

ps : god's music is pretty soothing.
Cry In My Heart -Starfield

2010-10-20T20:55:00.004+08:00

nobody will even bother about how you feel inside.
一笑而过。
just act and smile, there's no need to show what you're feeling.
it'll just probably spare you from people asking why.
maybe its just "one year and a few months"..
but its just not as simple as that..

2010-10-18T22:48:00.003+08:00

it seems like she just wanna cut clean from me.
but i guess thats something that i cant stop ^^
not seem. it is.
im just foolish hoping for something that wont happen.
its an ending that i shouldnt be surprised about. :)
haha, at least.. the memories of the past were sweet.
what else can i hope for. ^^

2010-10-17T15:00:00.002+08:00

Watching movie with menghao+liubin noww ^^

sighhhh. Haha.
Can't figure out why im so immature.
I just need to accept the fact that Im not worth.
Not worthy of anybody, and stop being a jerk so much.
Life is how it is, and I should adapt to it..
Sometimes I just wish I'm good enough. But I'm not.
Only one for me, but I'm not the only one for her.
Get used to the fact that I'm not needed ;D

2010-10-14T16:01:00.003+08:00

are my feelings wrong to keep.
am i just an ignorance jerk.
i am just a nobody isnt it.
its hard to pretend..
why cant i forget, why cant i not pretend.
why do i have such a stupid personality and cowardness.
why cant i find a commmon topic to talk to you.
why am i so fucking worthless and useless.
but i guess, people do move on..
so i really ought to stop whining and hope that, she'll come back.
: D stop..

2010-10-10T00:00:00.004+08:00

if i said i miss you, i need you.
will things change..?
guess im just not good enough..
cant find the words to relate to what im feeling right now.
am i pathetic to want to talk to you, or just want things to be like the past..

2010-10-02T23:27:00.003+08:00

i should really grow up and move on already isnt it.
thats what everyone's saying.
guess i must and should learn to move on ^^
but its tough. cant stop thinking.
i cant reason why, i'll think of her so damn frequent.
maybe time will heal all wounds uh, and i'll probably think less and forget.

If she's happy, i should be happy and move on right! :]
the world doesnt revolve around me. its a fact that'll never change.
haha anyw im not worthy of anyone, so what am i thinking.
never will be.

2010-09-29T20:49:00.002+08:00

I've only got myself to blame.

2010-09-28T22:49:00.002+08:00

acting like i dont care always seem like the best solution.
but what else could be done.

2010-09-27T17:53:00.001+08:00

2010-09-25T23:23:00.006+08:00

blah. no idea why i got the "idontcare" mood now.
sick of giving happy faces when im not, haha.
anyw just finished bathing and watching some koreandrama @chnlu.
well, of course playing game at the same time. to think less and perhaps to waste my time away
dont wanna read and think too much about love-related stuff lol.
afterall the reality we live in aint nothing but a joke is it.
Its better if i read less, and facebook less yep.
should spare myself from agony. and stop drowning myself in selfpity.
im pathetic to drown myself in selfpity.
and studies are killing me, ohgreat. i cant wait to get to sec four and have bigger problems.
maths, poa, chem, english.
joke uh, everything's gonna fail if i dont study.
guess its normal to have negative thought, haha.
i ought to stop exaggerating things up and be a little less irritating

2010-09-23T22:13:00.004+08:00

it's my fault for letting it pass by.

stress. tired.
feel like dropping dead now.
just went for my granny's birthday celebration,
lastminute rush-ed there as i forgot all about it.
celebrate-d, ate crab-ed, ate noodles-ed and cake-d.
and now im back home.
rushing last minute work now ^^

everyday seem like a struggle though.
wasting my time away, getting all tired.
and my thoughts are apparently going wild.
feelings are weird. what if there isnt any of it.
guess its normal for life to be abnormal and pathetic.

Anyw now, i got to do last minute report, and stuff like that.
attendance too, planning of games prog for tmr.
Its like i always do the planning, bet their sleep real sweet now -_-
sometimes i wonder for games, if i dont start planning now what the hell are they gonna do.
cant find a reason why i must do most of the planning. hah, but what to do. thats life.
I think im overusing the word "life".
yeah. i am. overusing it. i just ran out of words i guess ._. haha.

aint got time wasting here already yep,
gotta go do some work before tomorrow comes ^^

2010-09-20T23:08:00.001+08:00

2010-09-20T18:20:00.007+08:00

i screwed up things again. guess i'll always end up like this.
why just cant i be less sensitive and immature..
always letting my immature mind get in the way. ruining things here and there.
only have myself to blame. for being an idiot, a jerk.
and not holding on to opportunities and stuff..
its my fault that things turned out this way. but there's no way i can undo things.
i really need to grow up. stop thinking that i'll stand a chance or whatsoever..
stop being a pain in the ass.
no one needs me.
well, just be happy for..

"loving someone is when you just want the best for them, whether it includes you or not."

2010-09-17T20:13:00.004+08:00

another old pic.
somewhat bright yet down.

spent the rest of the day in my cca.
was fun, productive.
had mini napfa, & cadets bonding together.
i'm really glad in a way, seems like things are going right. :]
and it makes me wanna give and contribute more to this unit.
but the sad thing is that, sir is gonna go away for his own stuff.
so we'll gonna be like missing him i guess.
a nice man, and someone that i always have respect for.
fun friend to talk too.
anyw sir if you're looking here or whatever.
thanks for everything you've taught us.gave us.
This Unit have changed for the better, thanks to your guidance.
Thanks for everything!

blah lets talk about other stuff, since i dont wanna get all mushy.
what to talk about ._.
yeah homework, studies, stress and art.
great deal of time need to be use on studies
and i have no idea where to start.
and crap -_- i forget to buy my niece present..
the party's on sunday, and tmr i got to go to some hotel thingy.
no time to waste. hope i can get the gift soon..
LOL soon. remind me of ewwgene soon, haha. dumb.

and life's been okay so far, ^^
throughout these few months.
i guess i have learnt to let go slowly.
to not hope for the impossible.
cant expect things to happen, when im much a idiot ._. lol.

haha, what am i saying LOL.
anyw! tooooo lazy to type already uh. no mood.
plus hungry and lazy buy food ._.
well thats life ^^
ending off here teehee.

2010-09-16T23:09:00.003+08:00

will the sky still look that bright?

blogging again out of boredness i guess. haha.
wanted to study chem, but well, i wasted the night instead of doing some proper stuff.
i got a test bout chem tmr, and i know nuts about it.
just gotta blame myself for not listening well in class afterall ._.
oh ya, and yep. i recently jail-break my itouch thanks to ks help ^^
so yepppp, itouch's menu is touchable again.

looking round and thinking, aint time flying fast.
thought it was wednesday earlier in the afternoon.
but i only realise that its a thursday until i look-ed at the comp's calender.
guess stupidity got the better out of me.

anyw come to think of it, this world is kinda negative isnt it.
all the thoughts and stuff, i guess its hard to not have.
perhaps, its just part and parcel of life.
since life is never fair, and we'll just have to live with it.
the problems. the pain. or whatever you have difficulty facing.
reality is harsh. no point denying.
being helpless at times, no one will be there to reach you.
well, you cant expect people to always cheer you up or hear you out,
everyone have their own problems.
you have only yourself to rely on, or maybe just sleeping through or pass that issue.
shouldnt burden others.

or well maybe im the cause of everything.
shouldnt naggg too much of life isnt it! :]

nuff about reality already, think im uttering too much rubbish here haha. ^^
and right now i am, basically typing. words here and there.
aint doing any big stuff right now, just basically wasted my night : D
fb-ed twitter-ed customfig-ed as usual.
i also added a lil' games up my itouch, just incase i get bored from.. dontknow what.

2010-09-12T21:02:00.001+08:00

some oldpicc.

Hiiiiiiii.
started blogging all over again.
previously deleted my blog uh, dk for what reason. haha ._.
well, anyw today was like..
normal, doing stuff & shopping around.
yeah i got some new kicks, which my cousin bought for me^^
am super glad to have sucha nice godsister.
when i get a job or something, i better make sure to buy her something back too!
might post a pic of the kicks soon if im not too lazy.

yep, so now lets talk bout the holidays.
so far in this holiday i only did a little sketches for art here and there.
went cycling, out to library borrowed a book surprisingly.
etc etc. too lazy to note one by one.
haha, and i studied chem a lil' bout covalent and ionic
covalent hmmm, consist of non metal and non metal.
ionic consist of non metal and metal.
others i forget already LOL.

guess i'll end here haha, dont really know what to type anyw!
plus need do some sketches now and study/do chem tys! ^^
no time to slack.. (hah im lying to myself again)

^^